Dear Kitty Cat,

Despite what you seem to think, we did not have a baby solely for your enjoyment. The $500 crib is not, in fact, a glorified cat bed, our friends and relatives did not knit all those blankets for you, and Pampers aren't for batting around the house in the middle of the night. We're very sorry this tragic event has made you feel like less of a Princess, but we'd appreciate it if you'd stop leaving your cat hair all over the baby.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy